In my previous post I mentioned that one way out of depression was to begin to rebuild your life. Rebuilding life after divorce for guys is something that seems obvious, but I think it needs some qualification before we go into it.
This is a loaded word and I use it very sparingly because it contains a connotation I don’t like for men, post-divorce. When we rebuild something, some people like to rebuild it just the way it was. A historic building falling into ruin is often rebuilt in exactly the same style because we value what it looked like, and we want to keep that piece of history. Men do the same thing when rebuilding their life sometimes, they try to mimic what it was to be themselves not long ago when they were married. This means they often rebuild it with the same flaws, and also tend to create a prison of regret and bad memories while doing it.
Some guys tend to attempt to get their ex back which rarely ever works. Some guys try to seduce s woman as close to their ex wife as possible. Some guys just try living the same way, in as many ways as they can.
This is not rebuilding the RIGHT way. This is the WRONG way.
Rebuilding properly mean building something, but that thing must be a new design, a new way. You are RE-building your life, but it should not mirror what it once ways. It must be something that is new and reflects who you are now, it must give you direction and purpose, it must fulfil you and give you a place in the world.
This ties into your ego and a bunch of other psychological stuff inside your head. Having a strong sense of self, and self respect is what it is all about you see, and building a new life helps with this, and having self respect will help you build it too. They go hand in hand.