Coping with depression after divorce for guys can be a tough ask. The loneliness, the loss, the grief, the pain – it is pretty screwed up and no one seems to be able to help. In fact, sometimes we don’t seek the help in fear of being labelled weak. We just try to get on with it with this gaping hole in our hearts right. If you feel this way then you need some help man, it is not normal to go through these things alone completely. You don’t need to be lying on a cough talking about things to a shrink though, you just need to know a way out, a way to release, a way forward which can be hard to find in your own mind.
Men are good when we have the information we need to move on but it seems to hard to find. However coping with divorce and depression is something you can do, many have done it before, many will do it again. YOU can do it too if you understand where it all comes from.
Depression is not just about being sad, it is not just about loss and grief. Depression is about not letting go of the past and having it haunt you. It is all about your own insecurities in this new world after divorce and this hole can never be filled with your old life haunting you every step of the way.
This is the trick I used once i realised I had to move on from this stage.
- Every time I felt depressed I would imagine just one memory from my marriage, from my old life.
- I would remember it fondly, or with regret, or whatever needed to be felt – fully.
- I then imagined holding this memory in my hands one last time.
- I then imagines releasing it like you would release a leaf into strong flowing water to watch it be swept away.
This did not make me forget this memory, but it allowed me a moment to grieve it passing so it would not come back again and send me into a downward spiral. Over time this allowed me to stop hurting so much, but it did leave me feeling hollow. So I started to implement some things to fill that gap. Now the pain ways dulled, I found I could find some small energy to fill this gap with something NEW. After while I added more things and activities, I could feel a new life emerging which helped me speed up the recovery process.
I don’t know if that gonna help you, but it really helped me cope with depression after divorce.